Where Does My Female Character Fit In the Family? by Zina Abbott

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the challenges of staying on track while working on the computer is avoiding the time-wasters. Some I have struggled with through the years have been emails, Pinterest, and Facebook. My latest (thanks, but no thanks, A.I. and targeted marketing) are the articles that pop up when I click on a browser. I try to ignore them. However when one catches my interest, I decide it is time for a "break," and I read.

That was how I came across the article titled

Eldest Daughter Syndrome: What It Is And 12 Signs ToLook For, According To Experts

This caught my interest for two reasons. 

First, I am an oldest child and an eldest daughter. Did I recognize myself in some of the common traits listed? Oh, yeah.

Second, the heroine in my current work in progress, Sue, is an eldest daughter. As I reread some of the interactions between her and her mother in the first chapter, I realized had it down pat how to depict an oldest daughter. Here are a few excerpts:

"...I suspect he is looking for a milkmaid as much as a wife. It’s one thing to milk one cow for a family’s personal use. But, a whole barn full of cows that need milking twice a day?” Puffing a breath through almost closed lips, she raised her gaze to the ceiling.

            “You’ve never complained, so I had no idea you felt that way about milking the cow...." 

and (speaking of when her stepsister, Lucy, lived with the family):

"...Before she took over all the teaching duties, we mothers were taking turns having the local children at our houses. After she took over, I noticed you gradually became less of a student and more of an assistant teacher.”

and again:

"...But, at least I had my own room. I was the oldest, and I knew you counted on my help. That helped me feel special.”

            “You have always been special, Susan. I hope you never felt like I ignored you or took you for granted..."

"That never meant we forgot you, Susan. You were our constant in the storms of life. When more was required to take care of this family than what your Papa Jack and I could do alone, we knew we could always count on you to pitch in.”  

            “Thank you for saying so, Mama.” Lips parted, Susan jerked her gaze to the side as she allowed her mother’s words to sink in. Our constant in the storms of life. As much as she loved copying her mother’s ways and following in her footsteps, she never realized that was how her mother and Papa Jack saw her...."

What characteristics can often be seen in an eldest daughter?

 - She is given more responsibilities than younger siblings.

 - She learns to anticipate what her parents will expect, and she organizes things in advance in order not to disappoint them. "A place for everything, and everything in its place."

 - She is expected to set a good example for both behavior and accomplishments.

Older sister cares for brother while mother away

 -  She is expected to do more household chores and sibling childcare than expected of younger siblings. She tends to be assigned the more difficult or unpleasant tasks compared to her siblings.

  -  She is expected to help manage the emotional well-being of younger siblings, to be responsible to "keep the peace," regardless of whether or not the younger siblings are willing to cooperate.

 - Because parents tend to have higher expectations of their eldest daughter, she can often experience anxiety, guilt, or frustration when she does not or cannot meet those expectations. 

Children whose birth order falls elsewhere have other challenges and characteristics. 

A middle child or children do not feel under as much pressure as the eldest daughter. However, they often feel overlooked, which can lead to acts of rebellion.

Youngest children are not under the same pressure to help take care of younger siblings. They tend to be more outgoing, playful, creative, and independent. By the time they come along, parents are not as rigid--they have learned what works and what doesn't. Parents are older and often have less energy, so younger siblings get away with things more easily.

 

Sue, book 55 in the Prairie Roses Collection, is currently on pre-order. It is scheduled for release on May 16, 2025.

For the book description and purchase options, please CLICK HERE.

 

When I reread this article, I found it interesting to realize my heroine in my last year's Prairie Roses Collection romance was also an oldest daughter. The way I wrote her character, she also exhibited eldest daughter traits, but several were different than those of her stepsister, Sue.  Right now, Lucy is on a Kindle Countdown sale. In addition to being available on Kindle Unlimited, it is for sale for only 99c through May 14, 2025.

For the book description and purchase options, please CLICK HERE.

 

 

 

 

Writing History, Whenever It May Be

I've always been an ardent student of history. It fascinates me to learn about how people lived in the past, how they managed to cook their food or make their clothing. Most of my research ended up focusing on the World War II era, and it wasn't until this last winter that I shifted to my current topic of study - the American West.

I've been asked a few times how I managed to make that shift so quickly and be able to write convincingly in such a different era. My first answer was, "I'm not sure." However, after I thought about it so I could give a more intelligent reply, I've come up with an explanation, and I hope it's helpful to you as well.

People are people, whether you're writing about cavemen or explorers in space - we all have the same basic wants, needs, and dreams. Really, what it comes down to in writing historical is looking at those wants, needs, and dreams through the lens of that character's time. For instance, I think it's safe to say that girls/women through all eras like having something new to wear. A Western girl would fantasize about going down to the general store and choosing out new fabric, while a contemporary girl would fantasize about going to the mall. It's the same desire - they would just go about it differently because of their different circumstances.

The same goes for making dinner - the goal is always the same (make food) whether you're cooking it over a fire on a spit, throwing it in the microwave, or hitting the "replicate" button on your spaceship. The feelings of hunger are the same, the desire to eat quickly is the same, the feelings of grumpiness are the same no matter what era you're writing. People are the same no matter what their historical surroundings.

If you're contemplating writing historical, I suggest that you start with the characters first and determine their hopes and dreams and objectives, and then decide how to create that framework around them. The funny thing is, this is how I recommend starting every book, historical or not. When you start with the characters and their emotions, you're starting in the perfect spot every time. Then just put them in dresses, take away their cell phones, and boom! You're done!  Well, okay, it's not that easy - but it's also not as hard as you might think.

Writing Prompt: Take the following scene and write it three ways: cavemen, American West, and the 1940s. A man comes home and asks his wife what's for dinner. If you like, leave your results in the comments.

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Amelia C. Adams has lived many lifetimes, and is currently enjoying this stretch as the author of sweet and clean Western romance. Her new bestselling series is called Kansas Crossroads. A New Beginning (book one), A Free Heart (book two) The Dark and the Dawn (book three), A Clean Slate (book four), A Clear Hope (book five), and The Whisper of Morning (book six). You can learn more about her and her books on her website.